


The Power of Imagination

by pfaugh, phidari



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AK-English, Crack, Cybersex, Dirk and Jake are bad at cybering, Dom/sub, Happy Dirkjake, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, One Shot, Pesterlog, ooc tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:51:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pfaugh/pseuds/pfaugh, https://archiveofourown.org/users/phidari/pseuds/phidari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake pesters Dirk as they sit on their quest slabs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Power of Imagination

**Author's Note:**

> why did we do this

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]  
GT: Hello dirk.  
GT: I wholeheartedly understand one hundred percent if you dont wish to speak with me at the moment but if youd lend me your ear ill be sure to make this quick!  
GT: In fact i would really appreciate it.  
TT: Shoot.  
GT: You broke up with me.  
TT: Astute.  
GT: Oh er.  
GT: Splendid!  
GT: I was quite the knobhead during our excursions together im more than certain.  
GT: A grade a asshole as jane so nicely put it.  
GT: And not a moment too soon!  
GT: Um.  
GT: Im really sorry dirk.  
TT: No, Jake.  
GT: ...  
GT: No?  
TT: No.  
TT: Don't apologize.  
GT: Oh...  
GT: Am i making you uncomfortable?  
TT: No.  
TT: It's...  
TT: Man. Where do I even start?  
GT: Haha wowee.  
GT: I didnt consider thered be a list!  
TT: There is, but it's probably not of what you're thinking.  
TT: Tell me. Why do you think you were an asshole?  
GT: I reckon there were times i never once thought about your needs.  
GT: Or listened to you when i downright should have!  
GT: Look at me now rambling on and on about this like a ham.  
TT: You're not rambling, you're answering a question I asked.  
TT: You never thought about my needs. You really think that?  
TT: When I pressured you into dating me, and you agreed, and we spent five months together, you expect me to believe you were never once thinking about my needs?  
GT: But i!!!!  
GT: Wait... pressured?  
GT: Um i suddenly dont think i understand anything.  
TT: You don't need to spare me, Jake.  
TT: I know I was a huge fucking bully.  
GT: Im afraid thats a bit mindboggling to hear.  
GT: I was fairly gung ho about the entire endeavor myself!  
GT: Again thanks to jane.  
GT: Basically everything i did was fully my decision.  
TT: Ok.  
TT: Maybe it was, but you're still giving me far too much credit here.  
GT: If im reading this correctly dirk...  
GT: Youre saying were both at fault?  
TT: Yes, to varying degrees.  
GT: Heh...  
GT: And here i wagered wed get along quite swimmingly.  
GT: A match made in heaven!  
GT: Who better to shack it up with than my best bro?  
TT: Yeah, that's what I thought too.  
TT: Shit doesn't always work out like you expect it to.  
GT: Erm.  
GT: Well then.  
GT: Can we still be best bros?  
TT: ...  
TT: Do you want that?  
GT: More than anything!!!!  
GT: I cant lose my good man to the dark abyss of EXES!!!  
TT: Hah.  
TT: So you're not put off by the fact that I coerced you into dating me and then refused to give you a moment's respite no matter how strongly you indicated I was getting on your nerves?  
GT: Sure as the grass is green i dont wanna die knowing you hate me!!!  
GT: Or you thinking i hate you.  
TT: I could never hate you.  
TT: I'm glad it's mutual.  
GT: I get the feeling you misunderstood some things as well dirk.  
GT: Im genuinely attracted to you!  
GT: And i had quite the banging time on all of our adventures if you catch my drift *wink*  
TT: ...you did?  
TT: You are?  
GT: As sure as the dawn!  
TT: I see.  
GT: My apologies.  
GT: Was that the wrong thing to say to an ex?  
TT: Considering you're the only one I've ever had, I wouldn't really know.  
TT: I kind of want to suggest we have one last "banging adventure", but we probably shouldn't.  
GT: But how?  
GT: I hate to be the bearer of bad news so to speak dirk but were about to die at any moment!  
TT: There's another reason it wouldn't work out.  
TT: Much as I would enjoy a nice good-bye fuck.  
GT: The fact that wed have two ladies privy to our salacious activities?  
TT: Yeah, exactly.  
TT: Suppose it just wasn't meant to work out.  
TT: Here, enjoy this slow, lingering textual kiss, despite how much of a piss-poor substitute it is for the real thing: :-*  
GT: Haha you nogoodnik cheeky son of a gun!!  
GT: And a one of these right back at you!!  
GT: ;9  
TT: Aw man, that's hot.  
TT: ...  
TT: Actually, what if... Huh.  
GT: Out with it man!!!  
TT: You're big on the power of imagination. So imagine I'm there sitting beside you, kissing you.  
GT: Oooooh...  
GT: Are you doing the tongue thing youre rather partial to??  
TT: I am. I've also got my hands on your hips.  
TT: You know. Sensually.  
GT: Yahoo!  
GT: I sure do like it when you do that.  
GT: Um.  
GT: Should I be doing something?  
TT: I should hope so. It's no fun if you just lie there like a dead fish.  
GT: WELL THEN MISTER!!!  
GT: Prepare yourself because JAKE ENGLISH has already decided to claim your mouth much like any seasoned questant would a tricky labyrinth!!!  
GT: And i will grab at your shirt because you arent quite close enough for my tastes!!!  
TT: Aw, yeah.  
TT: You know I like it when you get forceful.  
TT: My tongue engages yours in a strife for dominance as I wrap my arms around your back.  
GT: I bet your breathings all off kilter strider!  
GT: You ought to get that under control before roxy catches you.  
TT: Roxy doesn't notice a thing. And she won't.  
TT: I just hope you're discreet enough to keep Jane from catching wind.  
GT: But even so!!  
GT: I wont let you rest a moment until i have you on your back!!!  
GT: Unfortunately not for wrestling.  
TT: I'm putting up quite the struggle, because I know it gets you hot, but ultimately we both know I'm just bullshitting. You have me on my back. What are you going to do now?  
GT: Well for starters im going to hold your wrists down.  
GT: Right over your head!  
GT: And while im pretty RARING TO GO at this point i really just want to look at you for a little while.  
TT: At what part of me? My coquettish little blush? My lips parted as I breathe heavily with arousal?  
TT: My fuckin' awesome anime shades?  
GT: Darn tootin your cheeks get flaming red you know!!  
GT: Its quite the sight.  
GT: But your dumb anime shades are getting in the friggin way so id like to toss them off if you please!  
TT: How's that work logistics-wise?  
TT: Did you just let go of one of my wrists or do you have them both pinned with one hand or what?  
GT: Oh!  
GT: Er yes i believe that would have to do the trick.  
GT: Though if i recall your wrists DO fit in one of mine.  
GT: It made things quite a bit simpler!!!  
TT: Hot.  
TT: Ok, so you just tossed my shades into some gaping moon chasm. I should be pissed, but I'm not, because you're holding me down and fuck if that isn't giving me a boner.  
TT: Don't leave me in suspense, Jake. You know how needy I can get.  
GT: Im um.  
GT: Aha!  
GT: Im touching you wherever i want because for once you have no say.  
GT: And wouldnt you know it i seem to know all of your sensitive areas!  
GT: Buckle down strider because if you thought your sweet spots were safe from my nefarious touch you are DEAD WRONG.  
TT: Apparently you're doing a halfway-decent job of it, because I can't keep myself from making these hella embarrassing sounds.  
TT: I sound like some abandoned kitten hiding in a cardboard box while it rains. Practically fuckin' mewling, as it were.  
TT: But maybe you could elaborate. What sorts of touching are we talking here?  
GT: Nothing half assed thats for damn sure!!  
GT: I want to touch every inch of you and i want you to feel me touching you.  
GT: Your...  
GT: Your chest!  
GT: And your hips because i know youll try to wiggle them and such but i wont let you!  
TT: Oh, that's good.  
TT: But pray tell, how will you stop me? Look, here I go. Wiggle wiggle wiggle.  
GT: You foul rebel!!!  
GT: Take THIS!  
GT: I shall straddle quite comfortably onto your bony hips.  
GT: Mayhaps even grind down a little with a wiggle of my own!  
TT: Oh.  
GT: Are you enjoying it dirk?  
GT: What kind of noises are you making?  
TT: I'm enjoying it. In fact, I'm grinding up and trying to get more.  
TT: God, Jake, that's good.  
TT: But I refuse to type out onomatopoeia of the sounds I'm making.  
TT: That's dumb.  
GT: Curse you.  
GT: Thankfully i can nearly hear you in my head as if you were right on this doom slab with me!!  
GT: Like that little breathless gasp you do a lot when youre being an ass and trying to cover it up.  
GT: And the louder moans when you decide to finally cooperate and enjoy what im giving you!  
TT: Ok, no, I am not moaning yet.  
TT: You're gonna have to up your game if you want to get that out of me, bro.  
TT: I'm bein' hells of shy. Biting my lip or some shit to try and keep from even gasping. You better do something about that.  
GT: Pesky rascal!  
GT: Youre being a really difficult shithead tonight you know that?  
GT: No matter!  
GT: Youll be swimming with the fishes in PARADISE in no time especially when i shove my hand under your shirt like i am now!!  
TT: I gasp and wiggle some more. Sure hope you can read this look in my eyes right now because I'm practically begging for more.  
GT: Ive seen the look plenty of times to be able to notice it straight away!  
GT: Its just far too bad i dont feel quite up to delivering just yet.  
GT: I certainly hope you dont mind if i toy with your chest a little! Its practically christmas in here id say egad where are we going to toss all this wrapping?  
TT: Nnn...  
TT: Think you're being a little unfair here, bro. What if I wanted to watch you writhe around helplessly?  
TT: Sort of like I'm doing now.  
GT: Then youll just have to wait your turn!  
GT: Oh er...  
GT: Unless that is if youre okay with it dirk.  
TT: No, I'm cool with it.  
TT: Just playing hard to get, bro. You know me.  
TT: Continue.  
GT: A pleasure to hear it!!  
GT: Because id planned to make you downright beg for it.  
GT: You dont ask for much like the stubborn bastard you are so its always very nice when you do.  
GT: Especially so when i can make you!  
TT: Shit, you're hot when you get like this.  
TT: But I think I'll hold back for now. You can watch me squirm and listen to me keen like a needy virgin.  
GT: Attaboy!  
GT: Gadzooks and you look nice when you do that.  
GT: It was always one of my favorite things goshdarnit!  
GT: I like it so much you can probably feel how er... how much!  
GT: Through my shorts and all that.  
TT: F-fuck.  
TT: I'm rolling my hips up to meet yours 'cause, see, you ain't the only one with a boner right now.  
TT: Let's introduce them to each other.  
GT: Haha hello there dirks boner!  
GT: Its very nice to meet you!!  
GT: Might i give you a firm handshake as a hello?  
GT: Its been quite some time since we last met!  
TT: _Shit_ , yeah, you can do that.  
TT: He's kind of in a bind, though. Got picked up and tossed in the cotton slammer. You're gonna have to bust him out if you want that handshake.  
TT: Think you're up to the task?  
GT: A true friend is usually all holed up in purgatory with his buddy.  
GT: But in this case a daring rescue will take place instead!  
GT: That means im putting my hand down your pants right now just in case you couldnt tell.  
TT: I'm no longer able to hold back. Finally, I let out a lascivious moan.  
GT: But WAIT!!!!  
GT: I insist on going at a slow and steady pace!  
GT: Wouldnt want you to get ahead of yourself now!!  
TT: You are one cold motherfucker.  
TT: I'm writhing about underneath you, moaning enticingly.  
TT: Doesn't that make you want to give me what I want?  
GT: Hell to the friggin no!!!!  
GT: It only encourages me to slow down!!!  
GT: Maybe if you asked nicely...  
TT: I don't know if I can swallow my pride, honestly.  
TT: To be frank, I suck at asking nicely.  
GT: Give it a go and you might be able to suck at other things.  
GT: *DRUM SHOT*  
TT: Oh my god.  
TT: Please, Jake? Please jerk me off like the pro handjobber you are.  
GT: Ill go a little faster for you buddy.  
GT: But not as fast as you want me too.  
GT: Thatd make this preposterously easy!  
TT: You _are_ preposterously easy.  
TT: ...  
TT: I mean,  
TT: Jake, that feels so good. More, please.  
GT: I am not convinced strider!!!  
TT: How am I supposed to convince you? This is a text-based medium.  
GT: A couple shout poles ought to do the trick!!!  
TT: Please!!  
TT: Like that?  
GT: Hnnn...  
GT: Yes mate exactly so.  
TT: Please, Jake, I'm begging you.  
TT: I can't take much more of this.  
TT: I want you to fuck me, Jake.  
GT: Well howdy ho theres no use in denying such a kind request!!  
GT: Ok dirk ill let you have another taste of the ak english *brandishes guns and poses!!!*  
TT: You really need to stop calling it that.  
GT: Oh no.  
GT: We are not having this argument again.  
GT: Its the ak english or the terminator and thats final!!!!!!!!!  
TT: Jake, it's your penis. Penises don't need nicknames.  
GT: But its my buddy!!!  
GT: Its been there with me through thick and thin.  
TT: ...  
TT: Just stick it in my butt.  
GT: Oh all right you sour patch.  
GT: Ill shimmy down your thighs to get in between them suckers!!!  
GT: And pull up your trousers and unmentionables.  
GT: BUT OH WAIT!!!!  
GT: Did you bring the lube.  
TT: What kind of noob wouldn't bring any lube?  
TT: It pops out of my sylladex, but you're gonna have to catch it since my hands are kind of pinned.  
GT: Ally oop!!!  
GT: Unfortunately ill have to let you go for now dirk.  
GT: This is a two handed job!  
TT: Aww.  
TT: Stretch me good, bro.  
TT: You want to hear me moan for you, don't you?  
GT: You betcha!!  
GT: Ok but id like to sit back and tease you for a second.  
GT: Again i want to be everything but PREPOSTEROUSLY EASY.  
TT: Oh, Jake, _god_ that's nice.  
GT: Where the frig are my shout poles.  
TT: !!!  
GT: Thats better!  
GT: Now in we go!  
GT: GERONIMOOOO!  
TT: Wait, did you actually prep me?  
TT: Should I be moaning with pleasure or screaming in agony?  
GT: No shit dirk dont i always?  
GT: Now moan in the throes of passion already would you!!!  
TT: Ok, just checking.  
TT: Yeah all right, I'm moaning loudly enough for the chess people up on the surface to hear.  
TT: Fuck me right into this uncomfortable stone slab, bro.  
GT: Your wish is my command!  
GT: Im rather grateful youre so flexible bro.  
GT: It makes this much easier!  
GT: I can see you pretty well this way while i thrust deeper inside you and somesuch.  
TT: Fuuuuck, Jake, that's so good.  
TT: So good I can't stop myself from jerking off while you thrust. I'm so fucking inundated with pleasure I'm about to blow.  
GT: NOT YET YOU DONT!!!  
GT: You squeeze onto yourself mister because we are in this for the long run!!!  
TT: Again?  
TT: Shit, you're really into making me wait around, bro.  
TT: ...  
TT: Don't read too much into that, I just meant in sex, that's all.  
TT: Ok, I'm holding on.  
GT: Its better to drag it out consarnit!!!  
GT: More fun for the both of us.  
GT: Dont you feel better after youve held it in a while?  
TT: I guess, yeah.  
TT: Like... it's more of a relief when I finally let go?  
TT: But in the meantime it's extremely frustrating.  
GT: I like to see you when youre that frustrated!  
TT: To be totally honest, I like it when you make me that frustrated.  
GT: I reckoned you did.  
GT: Thats when you made the best sounds and wiggled most.  
TT: Picture me making those sounds now, Jake.  
TT: Because I am.  
TT: You feel so good inside me. I'm so close I can almost taste it. Please, can I come?  
GT: Great googly moogly!  
GT: All right dirk on the count of three!  
GT: One!!  
GT: TWO!!!!  
TT: Oh shit Jake I  
TT: ...Jake, can you feel that?  
GT: Huh?  
GT: Oh.  
GT: Yes i do.  
GT: What might it be?  
TT: I don't know. Jane says she feels it too.  
TT: It sort of feels like an earthquake, but I don't think these moons get earthquakes.  
GT: Say dirk?  
TT: What is it?  
GT: I really do li  
golgothasTerror [GT]'s computer has exploded.


End file.
